One characteristic of a child with Asperger’s syndrome is his inability to tolerate change. If furniture is rearranged, if someone different takes care of him after school, or if something new is on the coffee table, his world is disrupted. What happens when a parent, teacher, or caregiver asks him to follow her directions – especially if the directions are new to the child? The skids go on. The child is upset, and often the adult is frustrated with the response to a seemingly simple request.
Kids with Asperger’s Respond to Simple Directions
Remember that kids with Asperger’s syndrome are easily overwhelmed. Asking them to adjust to a new situation can result in resistance or even meltdown. Giving a child with Asperger’s directions with too many parts can have the same results. Pick “rules” carefully. Prioritize the desired behaviors. Create a simple rule for the most important one. Perhaps The rule is put your shoes in the closet.
Kids with Asperger’s Appreciate the Predictability of Rules
The child’s parents may have asked again and again about the shoes with no luck. Suddenly, the shoe rule makes it okay and even a desired action. Kids with Asperger’s respond well to requests stated as “rules” because rules are predictable. They don’t change.
Kids with Asperger’s Follow Rules that They Have Accepted
In this example, the shoes rule will be the same today, tomorrow, maybe forever. It will be likely that the child will follow the shoe rule and remind others to do the same. He will calmly explain that he does indeed put his shoes in the closet.
Make a Rules Chart with Simple Words and Pictures
Another thing that children with Asperger’s syndrome like is relishing the routine. Have a simple rules chart can give the child satisfaction in going over the rules. They, of course, will remain constant and can be counted on for some time. Having a rules chart proves it, but having a rules chart can also help parents when the rules must change. For example. . .Now you are ten. The rule is put the shoes in your room. The child can help make the needed adjustment to the chart, and life can continue peacefully.
The child on the autism spectrum may seem to be difficult, obstinate, and defiant. Simple requests can become huge power struggles. The struggle, however, is the child’s internal attempt to keep an understandable order to his world. To parents, rules seem more restrictive than a simple request for cooperation, but they are a successful tool in parenting the child with Asperger’s syndrome.
Lynn Moore - Moore is a freelance writer, experienced special education teacher, and mother of two. She has worked as a developmental therapist for ...
